Shoes And The Private Home: What's The Accommodite To Do?

When you get home, what do you do with your shoes? Do you keep them on or take them off? What do you do in other peoples' homes? What do you expect your guests to do with their shoes when they come over?

In various households, not to mention various parts of the world, wearing shoes inside is considered a no-no, be it a cultural thing, a cleanliness/sanitation thing, or any other number of reasons. In some cases, slippers are made available to guests and/or they can bring their own if they wish. In others, socks/stockings or bare feet are more of the norm.

Not everybody agrees with this concept. For some people, it's because they have a medical condition that requires them to wear shoes all the time. For others, shoes are part of their outfit. Another objection voiced is the fear of revealing something that may not be very attractive. The list could go on.

I have to tell you, I used to wear shoes at home all the time regardless of whether I had anywhere to go that day or not. And when my mom had talked about the possibility of having a "shoes-off" policy (which has yet to happen if it ever will), I'll admit I was a bit bothered by the prospect of never being able to wear shoes at home again. Shortly after I had heard of such a possibility, I had looked up that concept on the Internet, and whether or not I realized it at the time, I think I was really looking for some tough love, something to help me work through any objections I had to the idea of excluding the wearing of shoes at home. What I didn't expect to find was an entire blog devoted to that issue. 

One of the posts, Some Serious Theology: Are you a Tramplian or an Offalist? presents two types of people on different sides of the shoe issue: the Tramplian and the Offalist.  At one end of the spectrum is the Tramplian who always wears shoes at home and is offended by the idea of having to take them off in other people's homes. At the other end of the spectrum is the Offalist who always takes her shoes off at the door and expects others to do the same.

While the Accommodite understands where the Tramplian and the Offalist are coming from, she is unable to fully identify herself with either one. Rather, the Accommodite prefers to take a more flexible approach to the shoe issue. So what does the Accommodite do given that one of her main principles is to avoid undue conflict?

As a guest, the Accommodite takes her cues from the host as well as other guests. If the host and/or all the other guests are in shoes, the Accommodite remains in shoes. If shoes off is the standard, the Accommodite will comply with that. If possible, she will take along a pair of slippers to change into in case her shoes get ruined via rain, snow, etc. and/or she is invited/requested to take off her shoes. In short, according to the Accommodite, it is the ones who live inside the home that set the tone for what is acceptable, shoe-related or otherwise.

 While the Accommodite may not necessarily refrain from ever shoes in her own home, she limits wearing them to select circumstances, such as getting ready to go out, performing certain tasks, or doing a "test run" on an outfit. If taking the shoes off at the door is out of the question, she will take them off at her earliest available opportunity and wear slippers (preferably in a style that blends with the decorum of regular clothes) in their place. The reasons behind her limited shoe wearing don't necessarily have to do with what otherwise would happen to the floors, though that too can be bad. However, her reasoning behind limiting her own shoe-wearing at home is as follows (in no particular order):

1. Real shoes may be too loud for anyone who might be sleeping.
2. Theoretically, putting shoes on is part of preparing for that which takes place outside the home as well for protection while engaging in activities with a high safety risk. While it is one thing to put shoes on sometime before time to do these things, when one can expect to spend the day inside the home doing things with little or no safety risk, wearing shoes creates needless wear and tear on the shoes themselves, if not a possible symbolic paranoia of something coming up.
3. Slippers, on the other hand, are usually designed in such a way to go with the idea of the home being safe and serene.
4. There may be guests who wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. comfort, personal conviction, adhere to a similar rule in their own home, etc.), and if the hostess is shoeless herself, it'll put guests who wish to go shoeless more at ease about doing so.

If possible, the Accommodite will have some of her shoes lined up at the door and will say something like, "You can take your shoes off here if you like." But she doesn't require it of them. While the Accommodite has no problem with others taking their shoes off in her house, at the same time, if there are guests who do not wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. medical reasons, are merely stoppng by on the way to somewhere else, considers other people's homes an extension of being in public, etc.) she is understanding of that as well, and barring extenuating circumstances (i.e., shoes in question are especially messy, the floor has just been cleaned, etc.), she will let it be.

In short, the most important thing for the Accommodite is that she does whatever she can to keep the peace between herself and others, regardless of where they stand on the use of shoes in the home.