At The Risk Of Contradicting Myself: Follow-up Regarding Shoes And The Private Home.

As I blog, a quote from Walt Whitman comes to mind. "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself." (From Song of Myself) There may be times when it seems like I contradict myself throughout this blog. That is because many of the ideas expressed here are based on revelations that I have had and the conclusions I have drawn.  The conclusions you may come to regarding what you should do regarding out of the best interest of others at the time may be different from the conclusions I have come up with. That doesn't make you any less of an Accommodite than I am. For that matter, you may come up with ideas that I may not have thought of.

In the post Shoes And The Private Home: What's The Accommodite To Do? I said that while the Accommodite may abstain from wearing shoes in the home herself (with all due respect to any male Accommodites out there) and allow other guests to take their shoes off as well if they wish to, barring extenuating circumstances, she wouldn't push the issue on people who didn't. However, about a day or so of having written it, between another personal revelation and one reader's question as to whether or not it's impossible to have a shoes-off policy and still be an Accommodite, I realized there may be cases where a shoes-off policy may be necessary in order to accommodate others' needs (which is one of the main parts of being an Accommodite). This could include, but it would not be limited to the following:

1. The Accommodite lives with someone who would never hear of shoes being worn in the home. (E.g. spouse, roommate, etc.)
2. The Landlord/Landlady says no to shoes in the home.
3. The Accommodite lives in an apartment and the wearing of shoes could be too loud for downstairs neighbors.

If you conclude that it is in fact in the best interest of others to have a shoes-off policy, here are some things to consider:

1. If possible, it'd be best to give guests fair warning (and possibly explain why if necessary) so they can plan their outfit accordingly and possibly bring slippers or a pair of shoes for inside if being in socks or less is out of the question for them.

2. It may help if you are able to have slippers, slipper socks (including the Mary Jane style; I don't know if there's a masculine version) and/or shoe covers if it's feasible. Even if you do give your guests fair warning about the shoes thing, you can't assume that they have slippers or that they have been in a position to have their slippers on hand. For all you know, they may have gone somewhere public on the way over via public transit and hauling their slippers around would've created too awkward of a situation.

3. Besides the people who are medically forbidden from going shoeless, there are people for whom going shoeless may be undesirable no matter what you do. This could include someone who intends only to come in for a limited amount of time, and the time limit they may have in mind might be too short to justify taking off their coat, let alone their shoes; another reason may be the person has come for "professional reasons." I'm thinking not only the plumber or electrician but also the salesperson or anyone else who has a formal dress code to observe at all times, and may not wish to combine their business clothes with stocking feet (but then there are some who have no problem with that) and/or they may feel unprofessional going about their business unshod. (I once read a forum comment by a social worker who visited a shoes-off home, and while said social worker followed the rule, they felt unprofessional sitting there barefoot.) Depending on the circumstances, if turning the non-compliant party away is not an option, the other thing may be to give the person a pass and remind yourself that it is only temporary.

I hope this clears the air for those of you who fear that a shoes-off policy may make you less Accommodating of others' needs than if you didn't. These are the ideas I have come up with. Any ideas that any of you have will be gratefully considered.