I don't remember if I mentioned this to you all or not, but something came up with one of my thrift store colleagues last week, and as it turns out, she is no longer a member of the staff. It's a bummer too, since, at least what I've seen of her on the job anyway, she's been a great asset. Adjustments to others' schedules had to be made to compensate for her absence. Between now and May 19, I'll be working all day Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.
Around this time of year, the back room has been getting crowded. In an attempt to step up my game, something I've been trying to do is get out on the sales floor whatever I can and what I can't I'll put in whatever bin has been designated for the item in question. (And I may be buying some books to help make the bookshelves less crowded.)
On Saturday, I'm scheduled to run the register in the morning. However, when the person who is scheduled to run it in the afternoon comes in, my agenda (time permitting) will be as follows:
1.Price/put out on sales floor whatever I can. (There are some things, such as books, shoes, and belts that have some sort of default price and can usually go out on the sales floor right away. The items I'm currently authorized to price are bedding, towels, curtains, valances, potholders, doilies, placemats, napkins, and tablecloths.)
2.Go through a couple of sacks of toys to make sure they're not damaged, stained, etc. If they're in okay shape, put them in the bin designated for them; if not, discard them.
3. Sort through any other donations that have come in to the best of my ability.
4. Break down boxes to be recycled.
Yes, I'm sure I will be able to make myself useful from Saturday on.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
I'd Lighten The Load If I Could; Wait, Maybe There's A Part Of It I Can
Today at the thrift store that I work at, there was a lot of stuff to be put out. Among that was some glass and dish sets. The shelves for that are starting to get crowded. I'd buy some of them myself, but I'm not the one in my household who makes the decisions regarding that. There are also a lot of purses at the store, but I'm not currently in the market for a new purse. I've got at least one on reserve.
There is one section I may be able to help thin out a bit: the book section. This will likely have to wait until Friday, but I may be able to buy some of the books from the shelves. I know I'll be going out of town, but maybe I can bring some of whatever books I buy with me when I go out of town this summer and possibly continue with RAB-PIA. (The releasing of the books, though, may be a bit tricky. That part might end up having to wait until after I return home.)
There are racks and shelves that are getting to be a bit on the crowded side. However, there's only so much that "I" can do about it myself as I have limited space not to mention there are a lot of things I have no cause to use at this time.
There is one section I may be able to help thin out a bit: the book section. This will likely have to wait until Friday, but I may be able to buy some of the books from the shelves. I know I'll be going out of town, but maybe I can bring some of whatever books I buy with me when I go out of town this summer and possibly continue with RAB-PIA. (The releasing of the books, though, may be a bit tricky. That part might end up having to wait until after I return home.)
There are racks and shelves that are getting to be a bit on the crowded side. However, there's only so much that "I" can do about it myself as I have limited space not to mention there are a lot of things I have no cause to use at this time.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Going About The Job Search At This Time
I'm currently in the process of seeking employment. While sometimes I wish I could focus my attention elsewhere, especially if the economy really is so bad, the job search has to remain in effect for me. I have student loans to pay, I have my stepdad to pay back for the phone, and well, being job/career-focused in my adult life is in general something that my family (parents especially) expects from me. On my student loans, I have had to defer twice, and in between deferments, I have to have made at least six attempts at seeking employment in order to get an extension. (Personally, I wish I never had to defer. I'd rather just get the payments over and done with.)
There are a couple of conflicts or potential conflicts with job-hunting like made. One, my sister needs a sitter for her 7-year-old this summer. I've told her yes, which means, I'll be going out of town from May 19 until the first or second week of August. She did say though, that if I end up taking a job in my hometown and ended up having to stay put instead, she'd understand. (My mom also said that if I get any calls from the places I apply to while I'm out of town, and they want to interview me, we might be able to arrange it so that I'm in my hometown for that, but I return to my sister's afterwards.) Also, at the thrift store I work at, something came up with one of my colleagues last week, and whether or not she will ever return remains to be seen. So, in order to help compensate for her absence, it turns out that I will be needed for more of the week than the three days (Monday, Thursday, Saturday) I normally do between now and May 19. I'll be going in on Wednesdays.
I'll be left with Tuesdays and Fridays to do anything towards the job search at this point (though Tuesday is also when I do laundry). I think what I'll do is on those days, go to places where I don't currently have an application in effect and request one, fill it out, and then turn it in at my earliest available opportunity. If it wasn't for the current and pending time constraints, I'd also plan on doing follow-up (which is what I'm told is a must if I'm a good applicant, and my parents are among the people who have told me that), but for now, given how booked I am and my not wanting to have to back out of my commitment to my sister, I'm going to forgo the "follow-up" part, and if prospective employers really do want to talk to me, they can call me. However, when I return, if I have no prospects by then, I'll bring back the follow-up step back in regarding the job search.
I figure this would be a good compromise between family expectations for me to look for a job and my wanting to maintain my commitments to the thrift store and to my sister to the fullest extent possible.
There are a couple of conflicts or potential conflicts with job-hunting like made. One, my sister needs a sitter for her 7-year-old this summer. I've told her yes, which means, I'll be going out of town from May 19 until the first or second week of August. She did say though, that if I end up taking a job in my hometown and ended up having to stay put instead, she'd understand. (My mom also said that if I get any calls from the places I apply to while I'm out of town, and they want to interview me, we might be able to arrange it so that I'm in my hometown for that, but I return to my sister's afterwards.) Also, at the thrift store I work at, something came up with one of my colleagues last week, and whether or not she will ever return remains to be seen. So, in order to help compensate for her absence, it turns out that I will be needed for more of the week than the three days (Monday, Thursday, Saturday) I normally do between now and May 19. I'll be going in on Wednesdays.
I'll be left with Tuesdays and Fridays to do anything towards the job search at this point (though Tuesday is also when I do laundry). I think what I'll do is on those days, go to places where I don't currently have an application in effect and request one, fill it out, and then turn it in at my earliest available opportunity. If it wasn't for the current and pending time constraints, I'd also plan on doing follow-up (which is what I'm told is a must if I'm a good applicant, and my parents are among the people who have told me that), but for now, given how booked I am and my not wanting to have to back out of my commitment to my sister, I'm going to forgo the "follow-up" part, and if prospective employers really do want to talk to me, they can call me. However, when I return, if I have no prospects by then, I'll bring back the follow-up step back in regarding the job search.
I figure this would be a good compromise between family expectations for me to look for a job and my wanting to maintain my commitments to the thrift store and to my sister to the fullest extent possible.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Secondhand Shopping/Salvaging
A lot of the books that I have used for RAB-PIA were used or presumably used (and likely will in the future, especially if I remain with Bookcrossing), and lately, I have acquired clothing at the thrift store where I work (and by "work" I mean volunteer) that would've otherwise had to be discarded. Among the items I had "rescued" from being discarded was a dress that I wore to church today and a couple of shirts that I'm wearing now. (I'm doing that whole short-sleeved shirt over long-sleeved shirt thing. Say what you will about it.) I'm also wearing a pair of black satin slippers that I bought at said store. I also have accepted the occasional hand-me-downs from my sister.
Although I have my personal limits to this, I have wondered lately if there is some sort of moral merit to buying/salvaging secondhand items that would otherwise be collecting dust somewhere or thrown away prematurely.
When I was in college, as part of my general education requirements, I took a biology class called Environmental Life Science. On one of the "lab" days, we took a field trip to the local recycling center. Some of the items recycled there included pop cans, plastic bottles, and even clothing. At one point, the person conducting the tour said that there has been all this talk about how bad the [U.S.] economy is, but seeing how much people throw away has made him question just how bad the economy really is. Another class that I took was called Introduction to Technological Systems (another general ed. requirement). In that class, we discussed the advantages and disadvantages of the Industrial Revolution. One of the disadvantages was the "throw away" mentality that it eventually led to. I hate to think how much otherwise perfectly good stuff might be sitting at the bottom of some landfill.
Now, I'm not saying that one should only buy secondhand items (especially if you don't have access to thrift stores, flea markets, etc., their hours don't line up with yours, and/or you can't find anything in such places that meets your particular needs). However, the reason that the items in the secondhand places are where they are is because they have become useless for one person but hopefully can become useful for another. The same is true for items that are handed down from, say, one sibling to the other. Hopefully, the second, third, or subsequent user will get as much use out of an item as possible until it no longer works, is used up, or worn out to the point where it is time for it to be discarded for good. Maybe then, the landfill won't fill up as quickly.
So, the possible merits of secondhand shopping/salvaging for an accommodite are that 1) the item in question won't take up space on a shelf, rack, etc., and 2) the item won't end up in a landfill too soon. Also, if the money spent on these things is going to a good cause, so much the better.
The other thing to do is, if there is an item you absolutely cannot keep/use, pass it on to someone else. Not only will it slow down the landfill volume, but it'll give someone else who could use it a chance to do so.
Although I have my personal limits to this, I have wondered lately if there is some sort of moral merit to buying/salvaging secondhand items that would otherwise be collecting dust somewhere or thrown away prematurely.
When I was in college, as part of my general education requirements, I took a biology class called Environmental Life Science. On one of the "lab" days, we took a field trip to the local recycling center. Some of the items recycled there included pop cans, plastic bottles, and even clothing. At one point, the person conducting the tour said that there has been all this talk about how bad the [U.S.] economy is, but seeing how much people throw away has made him question just how bad the economy really is. Another class that I took was called Introduction to Technological Systems (another general ed. requirement). In that class, we discussed the advantages and disadvantages of the Industrial Revolution. One of the disadvantages was the "throw away" mentality that it eventually led to. I hate to think how much otherwise perfectly good stuff might be sitting at the bottom of some landfill.
Now, I'm not saying that one should only buy secondhand items (especially if you don't have access to thrift stores, flea markets, etc., their hours don't line up with yours, and/or you can't find anything in such places that meets your particular needs). However, the reason that the items in the secondhand places are where they are is because they have become useless for one person but hopefully can become useful for another. The same is true for items that are handed down from, say, one sibling to the other. Hopefully, the second, third, or subsequent user will get as much use out of an item as possible until it no longer works, is used up, or worn out to the point where it is time for it to be discarded for good. Maybe then, the landfill won't fill up as quickly.
So, the possible merits of secondhand shopping/salvaging for an accommodite are that 1) the item in question won't take up space on a shelf, rack, etc., and 2) the item won't end up in a landfill too soon. Also, if the money spent on these things is going to a good cause, so much the better.
The other thing to do is, if there is an item you absolutely cannot keep/use, pass it on to someone else. Not only will it slow down the landfill volume, but it'll give someone else who could use it a chance to do so.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Alcohol And The Accommodite
This may bother some people if they knew this about me, but I've been known to drink once in a while. Most of the time, I drink either in my own home or my sister's though I have occasionally had a beer or two at a bar. I'm not a chugger, though. I'm mainly a "let's take our time with this shall we" kind of drinker. Even if I do get drunk, I don't do anything scary or expose myself in a way that I shouldn't. I'm usually either giggly or mellow.
I'll tell you, though, I'm selective as to who I drink in front of. Nobody in my immediate family seems to have a problem with me drinking nor do, say any of my parents' peers or sister's peers. However, there are some people in my life who would never hear of me drinking. One of them is my Southern Baptist grandmother on my dad's side of the family. She is very much against drinking, and she's not the only one who believes that alcohol and Christians don't mix. Needless to say, I won't drink in front of her, and if I tell her about something I got to go do, I leave out the part about drinking, if there was any involved.
I don't know where you all stand on drinking. If you're okay with it, I'd be happy to go enjoy a beer with you. If you're against it, if I'm around you, I'll settle for a Mountain Dew or something. I've heard that, when in doubt, it's best to go with the most conservative view on something. I don't know about the most conservative view, but maybe one should go with the most definite view at the time. Alcohol is a gray area to me personally, but if you have a more black-and-white view, I'll respect it and try not to offend you.
I'll tell you, though, I'm selective as to who I drink in front of. Nobody in my immediate family seems to have a problem with me drinking nor do, say any of my parents' peers or sister's peers. However, there are some people in my life who would never hear of me drinking. One of them is my Southern Baptist grandmother on my dad's side of the family. She is very much against drinking, and she's not the only one who believes that alcohol and Christians don't mix. Needless to say, I won't drink in front of her, and if I tell her about something I got to go do, I leave out the part about drinking, if there was any involved.
I don't know where you all stand on drinking. If you're okay with it, I'd be happy to go enjoy a beer with you. If you're against it, if I'm around you, I'll settle for a Mountain Dew or something. I've heard that, when in doubt, it's best to go with the most conservative view on something. I don't know about the most conservative view, but maybe one should go with the most definite view at the time. Alcohol is a gray area to me personally, but if you have a more black-and-white view, I'll respect it and try not to offend you.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
No Mind! Sit! Stay! No!
Normally I don't do this, but it's time I came clean about a really dumb trait that I have. There are times when my mind will wander to some random place, and then I'm wondering about, staring off into space, talking to myself, jumping out of my chair (in my own room) or some crazy nonsense like that.
My family has caught me doing stuff like that and has asked me why I do it. The truth is, I don't really know why. All I know is that it's embarassing and that it bothers others. There's no reason for me to do that kind of random movement at all.
I don't have any kind of mental illness that I know of. I think I just need to make sure that my mind is in the right place at the right time whenever possible. When my mind wanders, there's the danger of my body following it, and that is not good, especially when I could be engaged in something useful. If there was some sort of exercise to control my wandering mind, I'd do it. (Maybe I could come up with something for in the morning.)
My family has caught me doing stuff like that and has asked me why I do it. The truth is, I don't really know why. All I know is that it's embarassing and that it bothers others. There's no reason for me to do that kind of random movement at all.
I don't have any kind of mental illness that I know of. I think I just need to make sure that my mind is in the right place at the right time whenever possible. When my mind wanders, there's the danger of my body following it, and that is not good, especially when I could be engaged in something useful. If there was some sort of exercise to control my wandering mind, I'd do it. (Maybe I could come up with something for in the morning.)
Maybe I Should See About Walking The Dog
My stepdad has a 4-year-old lab mix named Layla. More often than not, she's either in the house or in the yard. The only times she's outside of these is when she needs to go to the vet or if we're taking her over to my sister's to be babysat. (My sister and her boyfriend have dogs of their own, both of whom have been at our house.) If you try to get Layla to step beyond the areas she's accustomed to, it confuses her.
Right now, my mom and stepdad are in the process of selling their house. We had some viewers yesterday. As a rule when the viewers come, nobody who lives in the house is to be present if it can be helped. So, Mom, Layla, and I went to the park. Mom had tried to get Layla to play fetch, but Layla wouldn't get the ball. She didn't really know what to make of the park setting. I heard Mom tell Stepdad on the phone that we needed to take Layla out more often so that she could get used to it.
I think Mom had said that they had tried walking Layla when she was a puppy, but it didn't work out or something, and she and Stepdad don't really have the time. I've contemplated offering to walk the dog myself if that's what it takes. However, I'd hate to start doing it now and then having to stop when/if I go out of town this summer. But maybe it'll help build up Layla's tolerance for the world outside her territory.
Right now, my mom and stepdad are in the process of selling their house. We had some viewers yesterday. As a rule when the viewers come, nobody who lives in the house is to be present if it can be helped. So, Mom, Layla, and I went to the park. Mom had tried to get Layla to play fetch, but Layla wouldn't get the ball. She didn't really know what to make of the park setting. I heard Mom tell Stepdad on the phone that we needed to take Layla out more often so that she could get used to it.
I think Mom had said that they had tried walking Layla when she was a puppy, but it didn't work out or something, and she and Stepdad don't really have the time. I've contemplated offering to walk the dog myself if that's what it takes. However, I'd hate to start doing it now and then having to stop when/if I go out of town this summer. But maybe it'll help build up Layla's tolerance for the world outside her territory.
Cellphones And The Accommodite
I first had a cellphone from when I was 21 to a month and a half after I moved to St. Louis to live with my dad, during which time the phone expired and a new one for me wasn't feasible. Shortly after I returned to Pittsburg due to some major health problems my dad had, I got a cell phone again.
There have been a couple of cellphone no-nos I've committed (and I'm not talking about having it on at inappropriate times). First, there was a time when I didn't have it on at a time that I should have which made it difficult for others to contact me. Second, I've been guilty of putting off setting up my voicemail. I've been chastised over both.
I have had the number I have now since late October. It wasn't until the day after my birthday (a week and a half ago) that I had gotten the voicemail set up. There were times when I was like, "Hmm, I really should set up my voice mail." But I didn't do it. I've even gotten an email from my dad chastising me over not having set up my voicemail especially since I've been in the process of seeking employment and could've missed out on a job opportunity or two on account of people not being able to contact me. Even after I set my voicemail up, I still felt awful about having put it off for so long. After all, is such behavior becoming for someone who is a 25-year-old college graduate, not to mention someone who was raised on Christian values? Um, no. All I know is that if I'm ever going to keep from letting a future employer and/or my future husband down, I've got to get my act together on things like this and stop the procrastination.
This time around, I try to keep my phone on and nearby whenever possible. And if I ever do change phone numbers, so help me if I don't get the voice mail set up right away. After all, there's no telling who might call.
There have been a couple of cellphone no-nos I've committed (and I'm not talking about having it on at inappropriate times). First, there was a time when I didn't have it on at a time that I should have which made it difficult for others to contact me. Second, I've been guilty of putting off setting up my voicemail. I've been chastised over both.
I have had the number I have now since late October. It wasn't until the day after my birthday (a week and a half ago) that I had gotten the voicemail set up. There were times when I was like, "Hmm, I really should set up my voice mail." But I didn't do it. I've even gotten an email from my dad chastising me over not having set up my voicemail especially since I've been in the process of seeking employment and could've missed out on a job opportunity or two on account of people not being able to contact me. Even after I set my voicemail up, I still felt awful about having put it off for so long. After all, is such behavior becoming for someone who is a 25-year-old college graduate, not to mention someone who was raised on Christian values? Um, no. All I know is that if I'm ever going to keep from letting a future employer and/or my future husband down, I've got to get my act together on things like this and stop the procrastination.
This time around, I try to keep my phone on and nearby whenever possible. And if I ever do change phone numbers, so help me if I don't get the voice mail set up right away. After all, there's no telling who might call.
Maybe I Should Keep A Plastic Bag Or Two On Hand
I went for a little walk a little while ago. I saw some plastic bottles and cans lying around and picked them up. I don't know if anyone would ever think to pick up stuff like that, but sometimes it seems like if I don't do it, who will? My hands got a bit full from it. I saved them for the next time I go drop off recycling at the college campus. Maybe I should keep some plastic bags on hand when I'm not headed anywhere.
If it turns out that I'm not going to Iola this summer, I may have days set aside for going out and picking up litter.
If it turns out that I'm not going to Iola this summer, I may have days set aside for going out and picking up litter.
At The Risk Of Contradicting Myself: Follow-up Regarding Shoes And The Private Home.
As I blog, a quote from Walt Whitman comes to mind. "Do I contradict myself? Very well then I contradict myself." (From Song of Myself) There may be times when it seems like I contradict myself throughout this blog. That is because many of the ideas expressed here are based on revelations that I have had and the conclusions I have drawn. The conclusions you may come to regarding what you should do regarding out of the best interest of others at the time may be different from the conclusions I have come up with. That doesn't make you any less of an Accommodite than I am. For that matter, you may come up with ideas that I may not have thought of.
In the post Shoes And The Private Home: What's The Accommodite To Do? I said that while the Accommodite may abstain from wearing shoes in the home herself (with all due respect to any male Accommodites out there) and allow other guests to take their shoes off as well if they wish to, barring extenuating circumstances, she wouldn't push the issue on people who didn't. However, about a day or so of having written it, between another personal revelation and one reader's question as to whether or not it's impossible to have a shoes-off policy and still be an Accommodite, I realized there may be cases where a shoes-off policy may be necessary in order to accommodate others' needs (which is one of the main parts of being an Accommodite). This could include, but it would not be limited to the following:
1. The Accommodite lives with someone who would never hear of shoes being worn in the home. (E.g. spouse, roommate, etc.)
2. The Landlord/Landlady says no to shoes in the home.
3. The Accommodite lives in an apartment and the wearing of shoes could be too loud for downstairs neighbors.
If you conclude that it is in fact in the best interest of others to have a shoes-off policy, here are some things to consider:
1. If possible, it'd be best to give guests fair warning (and possibly explain why if necessary) so they can plan their outfit accordingly and possibly bring slippers or a pair of shoes for inside if being in socks or less is out of the question for them.
2. It may help if you are able to have slippers, slipper socks (including the Mary Jane style; I don't know if there's a masculine version) and/or shoe covers if it's feasible. Even if you do give your guests fair warning about the shoes thing, you can't assume that they have slippers or that they have been in a position to have their slippers on hand. For all you know, they may have gone somewhere public on the way over via public transit and hauling their slippers around would've created too awkward of a situation.
3. Besides the people who are medically forbidden from going shoeless, there are people for whom going shoeless may be undesirable no matter what you do. This could include someone who intends only to come in for a limited amount of time, and the time limit they may have in mind might be too short to justify taking off their coat, let alone their shoes; another reason may be the person has come for "professional reasons." I'm thinking not only the plumber or electrician but also the salesperson or anyone else who has a formal dress code to observe at all times, and may not wish to combine their business clothes with stocking feet (but then there are some who have no problem with that) and/or they may feel unprofessional going about their business unshod. (I once read a forum comment by a social worker who visited a shoes-off home, and while said social worker followed the rule, they felt unprofessional sitting there barefoot.) Depending on the circumstances, if turning the non-compliant party away is not an option, the other thing may be to give the person a pass and remind yourself that it is only temporary.
I hope this clears the air for those of you who fear that a shoes-off policy may make you less Accommodating of others' needs than if you didn't. These are the ideas I have come up with. Any ideas that any of you have will be gratefully considered.
In the post Shoes And The Private Home: What's The Accommodite To Do? I said that while the Accommodite may abstain from wearing shoes in the home herself (with all due respect to any male Accommodites out there) and allow other guests to take their shoes off as well if they wish to, barring extenuating circumstances, she wouldn't push the issue on people who didn't. However, about a day or so of having written it, between another personal revelation and one reader's question as to whether or not it's impossible to have a shoes-off policy and still be an Accommodite, I realized there may be cases where a shoes-off policy may be necessary in order to accommodate others' needs (which is one of the main parts of being an Accommodite). This could include, but it would not be limited to the following:
1. The Accommodite lives with someone who would never hear of shoes being worn in the home. (E.g. spouse, roommate, etc.)
2. The Landlord/Landlady says no to shoes in the home.
3. The Accommodite lives in an apartment and the wearing of shoes could be too loud for downstairs neighbors.
If you conclude that it is in fact in the best interest of others to have a shoes-off policy, here are some things to consider:
1. If possible, it'd be best to give guests fair warning (and possibly explain why if necessary) so they can plan their outfit accordingly and possibly bring slippers or a pair of shoes for inside if being in socks or less is out of the question for them.
2. It may help if you are able to have slippers, slipper socks (including the Mary Jane style; I don't know if there's a masculine version) and/or shoe covers if it's feasible. Even if you do give your guests fair warning about the shoes thing, you can't assume that they have slippers or that they have been in a position to have their slippers on hand. For all you know, they may have gone somewhere public on the way over via public transit and hauling their slippers around would've created too awkward of a situation.
3. Besides the people who are medically forbidden from going shoeless, there are people for whom going shoeless may be undesirable no matter what you do. This could include someone who intends only to come in for a limited amount of time, and the time limit they may have in mind might be too short to justify taking off their coat, let alone their shoes; another reason may be the person has come for "professional reasons." I'm thinking not only the plumber or electrician but also the salesperson or anyone else who has a formal dress code to observe at all times, and may not wish to combine their business clothes with stocking feet (but then there are some who have no problem with that) and/or they may feel unprofessional going about their business unshod. (I once read a forum comment by a social worker who visited a shoes-off home, and while said social worker followed the rule, they felt unprofessional sitting there barefoot.) Depending on the circumstances, if turning the non-compliant party away is not an option, the other thing may be to give the person a pass and remind yourself that it is only temporary.
I hope this clears the air for those of you who fear that a shoes-off policy may make you less Accommodating of others' needs than if you didn't. These are the ideas I have come up with. Any ideas that any of you have will be gratefully considered.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Preparing For Home Viewers: Things I'd Do If I Could
My mom and stepdad (whom I'm currently living with) are in the process of trying to sell their house. I found out yesterday that today we'd have some viewers and that Saturday would be an "open house." We did a bunch of cleaning in preparation for that. I think it was either last night or this morning of some things I'd do if I had been authorized to do so in order to add more of a "homey" spin (barring unforseen circumstances):
1. Put on a pot of coffee with respect to the time the viewers are expected. There'd be some cups, powdered creamer, sugar, etc. out as well with a note inviting viewers/the agent to help themselves. (Some public places do this sort of thing once in a while.)
2. Make sure there's somewhere for people to leave their coats/jackets and/or purses.
3. Have something set up relatively close to the door so that anyone who wishes to take off their shoes for whatever reason (comfort, personal conviction regarding shoes in the home, fear of ruining the floor on a rainy/snowy day, etc.) can do so. I'd be reluctant to make it mandatory for a few reasons:
a. It's a real estate rule that those living in a home shouldn't be present during the viewing time if it can be helped. If I'm not home, how will I know whether or not someone else had shoes on in my home unless there's something obvious on the floors, such as mud prints.
b. Some people consider anything associated with buying a home (including viewing it) as a "business thing." (I read that on a forum once.) To them, being shoeless could fight with the "business" tone.
c. Depending on how the home is set up, there may be a viewing of, say the backyard involved. If one's shoes are several feet away, they'd have to go back to the front door to grab them. (But then, they could carry the shoes with them the whole time inside if need be.)
d. Some people are medically forbidden from being up and about unshod whether they like it or not.
Anyway, that's what I'd personally do to make the place a bit more "homey" for whomever might be living in my place after me. What about you?
1. Put on a pot of coffee with respect to the time the viewers are expected. There'd be some cups, powdered creamer, sugar, etc. out as well with a note inviting viewers/the agent to help themselves. (Some public places do this sort of thing once in a while.)
2. Make sure there's somewhere for people to leave their coats/jackets and/or purses.
3. Have something set up relatively close to the door so that anyone who wishes to take off their shoes for whatever reason (comfort, personal conviction regarding shoes in the home, fear of ruining the floor on a rainy/snowy day, etc.) can do so. I'd be reluctant to make it mandatory for a few reasons:
a. It's a real estate rule that those living in a home shouldn't be present during the viewing time if it can be helped. If I'm not home, how will I know whether or not someone else had shoes on in my home unless there's something obvious on the floors, such as mud prints.
b. Some people consider anything associated with buying a home (including viewing it) as a "business thing." (I read that on a forum once.) To them, being shoeless could fight with the "business" tone.
c. Depending on how the home is set up, there may be a viewing of, say the backyard involved. If one's shoes are several feet away, they'd have to go back to the front door to grab them. (But then, they could carry the shoes with them the whole time inside if need be.)
d. Some people are medically forbidden from being up and about unshod whether they like it or not.
Anyway, that's what I'd personally do to make the place a bit more "homey" for whomever might be living in my place after me. What about you?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Shoes And The Private Home: What's The Accommodite To Do?
When you get home, what do you do with your shoes? Do you keep them on or take them off? What do you do in other peoples' homes? What do you expect your guests to do with their shoes when they come over?
In various households, not to mention various parts of the world, wearing shoes inside is considered a no-no, be it a cultural thing, a cleanliness/sanitation thing, or any other number of reasons. In some cases, slippers are made available to guests and/or they can bring their own if they wish. In others, socks/stockings or bare feet are more of the norm.
Not everybody agrees with this concept. For some people, it's because they have a medical condition that requires them to wear shoes all the time. For others, shoes are part of their outfit. Another objection voiced is the fear of revealing something that may not be very attractive. The list could go on.
I have to tell you, I used to wear shoes at home all the time regardless of whether I had anywhere to go that day or not. And when my mom had talked about the possibility of having a "shoes-off" policy (which has yet to happen if it ever will), I'll admit I was a bit bothered by the prospect of never being able to wear shoes at home again. Shortly after I had heard of such a possibility, I had looked up that concept on the Internet, and whether or not I realized it at the time, I think I was really looking for some tough love, something to help me work through any objections I had to the idea of excluding the wearing of shoes at home. What I didn't expect to find was an entire blog devoted to that issue.
One of the posts, Some Serious Theology: Are you a Tramplian or an Offalist? presents two types of people on different sides of the shoe issue: the Tramplian and the Offalist. At one end of the spectrum is the Tramplian who always wears shoes at home and is offended by the idea of having to take them off in other people's homes. At the other end of the spectrum is the Offalist who always takes her shoes off at the door and expects others to do the same.
While the Accommodite understands where the Tramplian and the Offalist are coming from, she is unable to fully identify herself with either one. Rather, the Accommodite prefers to take a more flexible approach to the shoe issue. So what does the Accommodite do given that one of her main principles is to avoid undue conflict?
As a guest, the Accommodite takes her cues from the host as well as other guests. If the host and/or all the other guests are in shoes, the Accommodite remains in shoes. If shoes off is the standard, the Accommodite will comply with that. If possible, she will take along a pair of slippers to change into in case her shoes get ruined via rain, snow, etc. and/or she is invited/requested to take off her shoes. In short, according to the Accommodite, it is the ones who live inside the home that set the tone for what is acceptable, shoe-related or otherwise.
While the Accommodite may not necessarily refrain from ever shoes in her own home, she limits wearing them to select circumstances, such as getting ready to go out, performing certain tasks, or doing a "test run" on an outfit. If taking the shoes off at the door is out of the question, she will take them off at her earliest available opportunity and wear slippers (preferably in a style that blends with the decorum of regular clothes) in their place. The reasons behind her limited shoe wearing don't necessarily have to do with what otherwise would happen to the floors, though that too can be bad. However, her reasoning behind limiting her own shoe-wearing at home is as follows (in no particular order):
1. Real shoes may be too loud for anyone who might be sleeping.
2. Theoretically, putting shoes on is part of preparing for that which takes place outside the home as well for protection while engaging in activities with a high safety risk. While it is one thing to put shoes on sometime before time to do these things, when one can expect to spend the day inside the home doing things with little or no safety risk, wearing shoes creates needless wear and tear on the shoes themselves, if not a possible symbolic paranoia of something coming up.
3. Slippers, on the other hand, are usually designed in such a way to go with the idea of the home being safe and serene.
4. There may be guests who wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. comfort, personal conviction, adhere to a similar rule in their own home, etc.), and if the hostess is shoeless herself, it'll put guests who wish to go shoeless more at ease about doing so.
If possible, the Accommodite will have some of her shoes lined up at the door and will say something like, "You can take your shoes off here if you like." But she doesn't require it of them. While the Accommodite has no problem with others taking their shoes off in her house, at the same time, if there are guests who do not wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. medical reasons, are merely stoppng by on the way to somewhere else, considers other people's homes an extension of being in public, etc.) she is understanding of that as well, and barring extenuating circumstances (i.e., shoes in question are especially messy, the floor has just been cleaned, etc.), she will let it be.
In short, the most important thing for the Accommodite is that she does whatever she can to keep the peace between herself and others, regardless of where they stand on the use of shoes in the home.
In various households, not to mention various parts of the world, wearing shoes inside is considered a no-no, be it a cultural thing, a cleanliness/sanitation thing, or any other number of reasons. In some cases, slippers are made available to guests and/or they can bring their own if they wish. In others, socks/stockings or bare feet are more of the norm.
Not everybody agrees with this concept. For some people, it's because they have a medical condition that requires them to wear shoes all the time. For others, shoes are part of their outfit. Another objection voiced is the fear of revealing something that may not be very attractive. The list could go on.
I have to tell you, I used to wear shoes at home all the time regardless of whether I had anywhere to go that day or not. And when my mom had talked about the possibility of having a "shoes-off" policy (which has yet to happen if it ever will), I'll admit I was a bit bothered by the prospect of never being able to wear shoes at home again. Shortly after I had heard of such a possibility, I had looked up that concept on the Internet, and whether or not I realized it at the time, I think I was really looking for some tough love, something to help me work through any objections I had to the idea of excluding the wearing of shoes at home. What I didn't expect to find was an entire blog devoted to that issue.
One of the posts, Some Serious Theology: Are you a Tramplian or an Offalist? presents two types of people on different sides of the shoe issue: the Tramplian and the Offalist. At one end of the spectrum is the Tramplian who always wears shoes at home and is offended by the idea of having to take them off in other people's homes. At the other end of the spectrum is the Offalist who always takes her shoes off at the door and expects others to do the same.
While the Accommodite understands where the Tramplian and the Offalist are coming from, she is unable to fully identify herself with either one. Rather, the Accommodite prefers to take a more flexible approach to the shoe issue. So what does the Accommodite do given that one of her main principles is to avoid undue conflict?
As a guest, the Accommodite takes her cues from the host as well as other guests. If the host and/or all the other guests are in shoes, the Accommodite remains in shoes. If shoes off is the standard, the Accommodite will comply with that. If possible, she will take along a pair of slippers to change into in case her shoes get ruined via rain, snow, etc. and/or she is invited/requested to take off her shoes. In short, according to the Accommodite, it is the ones who live inside the home that set the tone for what is acceptable, shoe-related or otherwise.
While the Accommodite may not necessarily refrain from ever shoes in her own home, she limits wearing them to select circumstances, such as getting ready to go out, performing certain tasks, or doing a "test run" on an outfit. If taking the shoes off at the door is out of the question, she will take them off at her earliest available opportunity and wear slippers (preferably in a style that blends with the decorum of regular clothes) in their place. The reasons behind her limited shoe wearing don't necessarily have to do with what otherwise would happen to the floors, though that too can be bad. However, her reasoning behind limiting her own shoe-wearing at home is as follows (in no particular order):
1. Real shoes may be too loud for anyone who might be sleeping.
2. Theoretically, putting shoes on is part of preparing for that which takes place outside the home as well for protection while engaging in activities with a high safety risk. While it is one thing to put shoes on sometime before time to do these things, when one can expect to spend the day inside the home doing things with little or no safety risk, wearing shoes creates needless wear and tear on the shoes themselves, if not a possible symbolic paranoia of something coming up.
3. Slippers, on the other hand, are usually designed in such a way to go with the idea of the home being safe and serene.
4. There may be guests who wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. comfort, personal conviction, adhere to a similar rule in their own home, etc.), and if the hostess is shoeless herself, it'll put guests who wish to go shoeless more at ease about doing so.
If possible, the Accommodite will have some of her shoes lined up at the door and will say something like, "You can take your shoes off here if you like." But she doesn't require it of them. While the Accommodite has no problem with others taking their shoes off in her house, at the same time, if there are guests who do not wish to take their shoes off for whatever reason (e.g. medical reasons, are merely stoppng by on the way to somewhere else, considers other people's homes an extension of being in public, etc.) she is understanding of that as well, and barring extenuating circumstances (i.e., shoes in question are especially messy, the floor has just been cleaned, etc.), she will let it be.
In short, the most important thing for the Accommodite is that she does whatever she can to keep the peace between herself and others, regardless of where they stand on the use of shoes in the home.
Covering My Head Amongst A Cover-free Congregation: Do I Dare?
In some schools of Christian thought, a woman is expected to wear some sort of headcovering in worship if at no other time, but the man is expected not to. These people look to the following passage in the Bible:
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head--it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head." 1 Corinthians 11:3-10 (NIV)
In the churches I have gone too, there'd maybe be one or two women who wore hats, but otherwise, it was all bare heads all around. Growing up, I accepted this without question. This is not something that came up, ever. But I started wondering about the concept when I had read about this verse sometime in college. (I was looking up stuff regarding the concept of biblical modesty.) I want so badly to try and make sense of the concept and maybe see if wearing a scarf or something will help me make sense of it.
There's a problem with that, though. At both the church I am a member of in St. Louis (a Disciples of Christ one) and the Baptist one that I've been attending in Pittsburg a couple of weeks or so after I had left St. Louis under circumstances beyond my control, there is not a single headcovering of any kind to be seen. At the Baptist church I attend, I am one of the younger people there, and I'm not even an official member, I worry that for me to wear even a hat or scarf, even if I don't say anything, would call undue attention to myself and create too much of a stir. (Some schools of Christian thought teach that a woman's long hair is her covering. I know I can at least get away with that even though a lot of women in the congregation don't even do that.)
For the time being, I keep a sheer black scarf (which is cut like your average bandanna) in my purse. Maybe one day, I will be brave enough to wear that (or maybe a hat or other covering) in church, such as when I'm older or if I marry a preacher. That way, if any woman who comes along becomes convicted about the headcovering or starts to wonder about it, she won't have to feel as self-conscious about it if she sees someone else doing it.
"Now I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God. Every man who prays or prophesies with his head covered dishonors his head. And every woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head--it is just as though her head were shaved. If a woman does not cover her head, she should have her hair cut off; and if it is a disgrace for a woman to have her hair cut or shaved off, she should cover her head. A man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man. For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. For this reason, and because of the angels, the woman ought to have a sign of authority on her head." 1 Corinthians 11:3-10 (NIV)
In the churches I have gone too, there'd maybe be one or two women who wore hats, but otherwise, it was all bare heads all around. Growing up, I accepted this without question. This is not something that came up, ever. But I started wondering about the concept when I had read about this verse sometime in college. (I was looking up stuff regarding the concept of biblical modesty.) I want so badly to try and make sense of the concept and maybe see if wearing a scarf or something will help me make sense of it.
There's a problem with that, though. At both the church I am a member of in St. Louis (a Disciples of Christ one) and the Baptist one that I've been attending in Pittsburg a couple of weeks or so after I had left St. Louis under circumstances beyond my control, there is not a single headcovering of any kind to be seen. At the Baptist church I attend, I am one of the younger people there, and I'm not even an official member, I worry that for me to wear even a hat or scarf, even if I don't say anything, would call undue attention to myself and create too much of a stir. (Some schools of Christian thought teach that a woman's long hair is her covering. I know I can at least get away with that even though a lot of women in the congregation don't even do that.)
For the time being, I keep a sheer black scarf (which is cut like your average bandanna) in my purse. Maybe one day, I will be brave enough to wear that (or maybe a hat or other covering) in church, such as when I'm older or if I marry a preacher. That way, if any woman who comes along becomes convicted about the headcovering or starts to wonder about it, she won't have to feel as self-conscious about it if she sees someone else doing it.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Being Loyal To Parents From Afar Via Consistent Communication
If you are like me, you have at least one (living) parent whom you don't live with and with whom you try to keep consistent communication. And if your like me, you also see that as a must for as long as you and said parent are both alive.
In this case, the parent is my dad. We mostly communicate via email. If I go too long without writing to him, he takes it personally, and for me to hurt my parents' feelings violates one of the Ten Commandments in the Judeo-Christian faith which is to honor one's mother and father. Whenever I violate that, I feel horrible.
Something my dad has asked me to do is write to him at least once a week. That is what I am trying to do. I have come to the conclusion that, in order to insure that I fulfill that "once a week" rule, I should do it on Saturday, and then it's done, and I won't have to think about it. Since I'm involved in some volunteer work at a local thrift store on Saturdays, I have decided that, barring unusual circumstances, I would write to him as soon after I came home as possible. However, if he lapses in how often he writes to me, I will not hold it against him.
Fellow Accommodites, I ask you this: do you have at least one parent from whom you live far away? Is there any reason not to write/call them? If not, is there a day in the week for which you could make sure to write/call them? For the sake of your relationship to said parent(s) I advise you to keep it a priority to maintain regular contact with them, be it written or phone lest they think you have forgotten them. But don't hold it against them if they fall behind on their contact with you. After all, an Accommodite's concern is how his/her actions affect others rather than the other way around.
In this case, the parent is my dad. We mostly communicate via email. If I go too long without writing to him, he takes it personally, and for me to hurt my parents' feelings violates one of the Ten Commandments in the Judeo-Christian faith which is to honor one's mother and father. Whenever I violate that, I feel horrible.
Something my dad has asked me to do is write to him at least once a week. That is what I am trying to do. I have come to the conclusion that, in order to insure that I fulfill that "once a week" rule, I should do it on Saturday, and then it's done, and I won't have to think about it. Since I'm involved in some volunteer work at a local thrift store on Saturdays, I have decided that, barring unusual circumstances, I would write to him as soon after I came home as possible. However, if he lapses in how often he writes to me, I will not hold it against him.
Fellow Accommodites, I ask you this: do you have at least one parent from whom you live far away? Is there any reason not to write/call them? If not, is there a day in the week for which you could make sure to write/call them? For the sake of your relationship to said parent(s) I advise you to keep it a priority to maintain regular contact with them, be it written or phone lest they think you have forgotten them. But don't hold it against them if they fall behind on their contact with you. After all, an Accommodite's concern is how his/her actions affect others rather than the other way around.
Friday, April 16, 2010
The Accommodite, Litter, And Recycling
The Accommodite hates the site of trash all over lawns, sidewalks, etc., whether someone actually put it there or the wind has blown it around. It doesn't need to be on the ground. It just doesn't. Yet, on the way to her engagements, the Accommodite must constantly endure this site. She often wishes that she could take care of the litter herself, if that's what it takes, but this is not always feasible, whether there is not a trash can close enough or the Accommodite is trying to honor a commitment somewhere.
If circumstances allow, and provided that the Accommodite is not knowingly stepping on any toes so to speak, she will make time to go out to somewhere public, like a park, trash bag in hand, pick up the litter laying around and dispose of it in the nearest trash can. If there is anything amongst the litter that can be recycled, such as an aluminum can or a plastic bottle, she will hold onto it to take to the nearest recycling bin. If there is no such thing for her to access, even the trash can is better than nothing at all.
While the Accommodite makes an effort to help control the litter on her own property and that which is public, she leaves the private property of others alone unless she has permission to do otherwise. After all, if she were to touch the property of others without their consent, that would be trespassing, and she would never do such a thing. Besides which, it is the owner/resident of the property who is responsible for the upkeep, and if it is not a priority for them, or if they are unable to take care of it for some reason, so be it. However, if they do wish to call upon the assistance of the Accommodite, they are at liberty to do so, and she would be happy to help.
In short, regarding the problem with litter, the Accommodite may not be able to control it completely, but she is willing to control whatever of it she can, even if she's the only one who can.
If circumstances allow, and provided that the Accommodite is not knowingly stepping on any toes so to speak, she will make time to go out to somewhere public, like a park, trash bag in hand, pick up the litter laying around and dispose of it in the nearest trash can. If there is anything amongst the litter that can be recycled, such as an aluminum can or a plastic bottle, she will hold onto it to take to the nearest recycling bin. If there is no such thing for her to access, even the trash can is better than nothing at all.
While the Accommodite makes an effort to help control the litter on her own property and that which is public, she leaves the private property of others alone unless she has permission to do otherwise. After all, if she were to touch the property of others without their consent, that would be trespassing, and she would never do such a thing. Besides which, it is the owner/resident of the property who is responsible for the upkeep, and if it is not a priority for them, or if they are unable to take care of it for some reason, so be it. However, if they do wish to call upon the assistance of the Accommodite, they are at liberty to do so, and she would be happy to help.
In short, regarding the problem with litter, the Accommodite may not be able to control it completely, but she is willing to control whatever of it she can, even if she's the only one who can.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Introduction To The Way Of The Accommodite.
Hello, welcome to The Way Of The Accomodite. I'm Moderate Mouse. Some of you may have been to my other blogs, RAB-PIA and On The Road To The Rest Of My Life and are probably wondering what I'm up to with this blog. This could take a while, so bear with me.
You see, I have what is called a Beta personality, which is considered submissive in nature, as opposed to an Alpha personality, which is dominant in nature. As a Beta, I feel the need to submit to the needs, wishes, etc. of others whenever possible and feel guilty (and I mean really guilty) if I fail in this area. I try to avoid saying anything that is bound to upset someone else, and again, if I fail in that area, I feel guilty. There are also times when I feel that when there is something that must be done (such as a household chore), and no one else has done it, I must do it provided I am able and allowed to whether I have been asked to do it or not. If someone else does something I don't agree with, I try not to be judgemental. I practically consider my own faults to be "worse" than those of others. I may not have control of the behavior of others, but I can control my own behavior.
In short, it's as though it's my life's mission to "accommodate" the needs, feelings, etc. of others (including God) and the state of my surroundings through my own actions. That is the way of the Accommodite. The Accommodites consider it their particular responsibility in the world to do whatever they can to avoid harm to others and their surroundings and when possible, take action towards doing good to these things, and if they fail, they are very hard .
That is the philosophy that this blog is dedicated to. It will cover how an Accommodite would handle different situations. I'm not looking to convert anybody or saying, "You must do xzy." This more a matter of "This is something that someone with my personality would do, and if it works for you, that's great."
I do have a couple of disclaimers, though. As I was raised on Christian standards (and I use the term "Christian" loosely), there may be references to God, The Bible, etc., so I apologize in advance to anyone of another faith that I might offend. Also I may at some point refer to The Accomodate as either male of female (most likely the latter as I'm female). I realize that is not the most politically correct thing to do, but I'm not sure if referring to Accomodites as a group rather than referring to a hypothetical Accomodite will always work. There may be some of you who have the same submissive personality that I do but do not agree with every word I put here. That's okay, too. If it works for you, use it. If it doesn't, toss it out.
I hope you enjoy this blog. There is much more to come.
You see, I have what is called a Beta personality, which is considered submissive in nature, as opposed to an Alpha personality, which is dominant in nature. As a Beta, I feel the need to submit to the needs, wishes, etc. of others whenever possible and feel guilty (and I mean really guilty) if I fail in this area. I try to avoid saying anything that is bound to upset someone else, and again, if I fail in that area, I feel guilty. There are also times when I feel that when there is something that must be done (such as a household chore), and no one else has done it, I must do it provided I am able and allowed to whether I have been asked to do it or not. If someone else does something I don't agree with, I try not to be judgemental. I practically consider my own faults to be "worse" than those of others. I may not have control of the behavior of others, but I can control my own behavior.
In short, it's as though it's my life's mission to "accommodate" the needs, feelings, etc. of others (including God) and the state of my surroundings through my own actions. That is the way of the Accommodite. The Accommodites consider it their particular responsibility in the world to do whatever they can to avoid harm to others and their surroundings and when possible, take action towards doing good to these things, and if they fail, they are very hard .
That is the philosophy that this blog is dedicated to. It will cover how an Accommodite would handle different situations. I'm not looking to convert anybody or saying, "You must do xzy." This more a matter of "This is something that someone with my personality would do, and if it works for you, that's great."
I do have a couple of disclaimers, though. As I was raised on Christian standards (and I use the term "Christian" loosely), there may be references to God, The Bible, etc., so I apologize in advance to anyone of another faith that I might offend. Also I may at some point refer to The Accomodate as either male of female (most likely the latter as I'm female). I realize that is not the most politically correct thing to do, but I'm not sure if referring to Accomodites as a group rather than referring to a hypothetical Accomodite will always work. There may be some of you who have the same submissive personality that I do but do not agree with every word I put here. That's okay, too. If it works for you, use it. If it doesn't, toss it out.
I hope you enjoy this blog. There is much more to come.
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